Monkey Boys News Page Two

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Darwin Awards

The Darwin Awards are given annually, usually posthumously, to the individual(s) who remove themselves from the gene pool in the most spectacular fashion. They derive their name from charles darwin who put forward the theory of evolution stating that the best of the species will produce offspring to further the species. However there is an exception to the requirement to die. If said individual does not die, however does render him/her self incapable of producing any children - they may be eligible for the dubious honor of receiving the award while still alive. The award is usually given to the person who most spectacularly (or stupidly!) removes themselves from the gene pool!

We will be putting some of the best nominations around this publication, with thanks to various other websites for the info. (The best is the official site!) Nominations can also be put forward for the 1998 awards.

The winner of the 1998 award will be notified as soon as it is made. The infamous story of the 1997 winner appears on page 4.

Arizona Land speed record attempt fails!

An unknown man had somehow got hold of a solid-fuel rocket, that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra `push' for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala out into the desert, and found a long, straight stretch of road. Then he attached the rocket his car, jumped in, got up some speed, and fired off.

He accelerated to well in excess of 350 MPH and then became airbourne for about 1.5 miles and impacting a cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock

Most of the driver's remains were not recoverable; however, small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Solid-fuel rockets don't have an 'off'... once started, they burn at full thrust 'till the fuel is all gone. This story has not yet been confirmed by the Arizona highway patrol.

 

  From Page 1. Yes we can reveal the identity of the two ex-world leaders in question, Mary Robinson, the ex president of Ireland and Mrgaret Thatchger, ex prime minister of britain.

 

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